Hi, I'm Joanna

I really don’t know where to go from this point. I’m still wondering if I’ll ever make it far. Sometimes I tell myself I’ll be stuck in here, lost in a pool of troubles, worries, and fears. People say listen to your heart, but my own heart doesn’t know. It doesn’t know shit. That’s why I’m hoping with all I have. I’m praying with all my might. In the end, I know God knows where, when, and what. He’ll help me dismiss my fears. All I have is hope right now, so I must fly with it.

Sometimes I tend to stare in the mirror, look at pics I’m in, and wonder how did I ever attract such a perfect guy in my life. Physically, I’m not attractive. At least that’s how I feel. There are so much stunning, adventurous, outgoing, non-jealous, party going girls out there! And then there’s me; fat, shy, dumb, envious, doesn’t drink, doesn’t do drugs, goes to church every week type of girl. I may be harsh on myself right now, but it’s what I feel deep inside. Whatever attracted him to me, I hope I still have it, because I can’t afford to lose him. Not ever.

I know its wrong to blast all your hatred on your best friend when they become friends with the one person you absolutely hate. And it’s like you can’t tell them who to be friends with right? But this is no exception. That bitch treated me like shit and I never even talk to the hoe. Bitch, you’re out. I fucking told you about her. She fucking said shit that was unnecessary. Fuck’a you dumb. I dont know what to do with you. It shows me how much you care about me now. I now know that you dont. Bye asshole.

Its like my mouth goes:

• MITCHELL LEFT ALREADY
• I gained 10 fucking pounds
• So much homework from summer school
• My roots are lighter than the rest thanks to my mom
• I found out this bitch wrote FAT on my junior yr photo in the yrbook
• Acne is building all up on my fat face
• Eyebrows are as ugly as shit
• My period is still on the prowl

If only it were that easy

A piece of my heart is dying. Wednesday is vastly here, and I’m mad as fuck. 17 days is not enough at all. I know we said were done, but still, you’re my best friend bro. This feeling sucks, like being stuck in a tank filled with ugly perverted hobo’s for a year. Yeah that feeling. I wish my parents werent as strict, and would let me visit you. One day, I will fly to you, and you finally can show me your roots. I had the best two weeks of my life. Wouldn’t trade it at all. Thank you Mitchell, for being there for me. I’m gonna miss us.